Lydia has removed Chelsya's hat.
Friday, May 30, 2008
Photos: Dress Hat
Sunday School
Sunday School
Lydia’s aunt, Virginia (the older of my two sisters), and Lydia’s uncle, Johnny (one of my two brother-in-laws) gave us a gift subscription to Wonder Time, a magazine for parents, earlier this year. The April 2008 issue featured an article that caught my interest which was entitled “In the Beginning: One Mom’s Year of Sunday School” (pages 74-81).
Katharine Whittemore, the author of the article and the magazine’s features editor, begins, “Today is the first time I’ve ever brought them [her two children] to church. . .Will turns 7 soon, Tess 4, and I’ve pretty much avoided their religious education until now. Why? First: impracticality. Tess couldn’t sit still enough for church. Second: ambivalence. My faith is real but fogbound, racked with questions. . .Third: marital conflict. I was raised an Episcopalian. John grew up Catholic, went to parochial school, the whole deal. He once saw a nun hit a kid so hard the kid had to get stitches. Organized religion holds subzero appeal for him. He’s bighearted, nevertheless, about my ragged need to do this.”
As the author writes vignettes of their experiences of attending church and Sunday school with her two children over the course of a school year from September until June, she occasionally shares a few of her children’s memorable comments as follows:
“Tess: Speaking of our minister, she says, ‘Is Father Ted God?’
Tess: Paging through a Barbie sticker book, she lingers on. . .Barbie as the Empress Josephine, Napoleon’s wife, in a gown patterned with tiny crosses. Saith Tess: ‘Dat Barbie is wearing church clothes!’
Will: ‘Mama, I know what God looks lie.’ ‘Really? I say. What? ‘The genie in Aladdin.’
Will: I mention Joseph and his coat of many colors and how it’s one of the stories I like best in the Bible. Will says, ‘What’s the Bible?’
Tess: She helps me light the Advent candles [in preparation for the weeks in December leading up to Christmas], and to my great surprise, says, ‘I wanna pray.’ She presses her hands together: ‘Dear God. Thank you for this food. I don’t know what else to say.’
Will: ‘I think Mother Nature made everything, but God keeps it going.’”
Ms. Whittenmore concludes her article as follows: “When we began, Will and Tess wanted to know just what you should say when you pray. . .When you get right down to it, there are really only two kinds of prayers. One is: ‘Help me, help me, help me.’ The other is: ‘Thank you, thank you, thank you.’ You just fill in the details. So on this Sunday morning, my fidgety graduates and I kneel down. And we bow our heads.’”
My Comments
For a Christian, religious education and rituals are important, but a relationship with Jesus is the critical element. During my college years, I read a classic by J. I. Packer called Knowing God, and in that work, the author, a professor of theology, emphasized that merely knowing about God is insufficient to be a Christian. Instead, what is required for any Christian is to know God personally. John Stott, an English scholar and an internationally known preacher, explains it this way in his book, Christian Basics (Baker Books: 1999. pages 18, 19, 21),:
“First, Christianity is not primarily a creed. Many people think it is. They imagine if they can recite the Apostles’ Creed from beginning to end without any mental reservations, this will make them a Christian. . .
Second, Christianity is not primarily a code of conduct. Yet many suppose that it is. . .’It really doesn’t matter what you believe,’ they say, ‘so long as you lead a decent life.’ . . .
Third, Christianity is not primarily a cult, using the word in the sense of ‘a system of religious worship’ and a cluster of ceremonies. . .
Christianity is in essence neither an intellectual, nor an ethical, nor a ceremonial system. . .It’s not all three put together. It is perfectly possible (though rare because difficult) to be orthodox in belief, upright in conduct, and conscientious in religious observances, and still to overlook the heart of Christianity. . .
What then was missing?. . .It is Christ! It is not primarily a system of any kind; it is a person, and a personal relationship to that person. Then other things fit into place – our beliefs and behavior, our church membership and attendance, and our private and public devotions.”
Photos: Lydia and Michael
Lydia and Michael are both interested in the scooter.
Note: SiowFong took both of these pictures on May 17, 2008 in the living room of our home.
Korea Meets China
Korea Meets China
Today we had the pleasure of having the Martinez family to our home for lunch. Greg and Teresa Martinez as well as Michael, their son who just turned one year of age two weeks ago, were our guests. Michael, who was born in South Korea, was just adopted two months ago; as a result, Lydia, an adopted child from China, encountered an adopted child from Korea for the first time in her life.
Irrespective of age, boys are generally much more active than girls, and Michael was typical of that trend. Michael began walking around eleven months of age, and ever since then, he has been using those little legs to explore his world. Curious about Lydia’s toys, Michael especially enjoyed sucking on the drumsticks for the xylophone. His mother explained that Michael loves putting things inside his mouth, and on one recent occasion at their home, Michael placed a golf ball there.
SiowFong prepared most of today’s delicious lunch, which consisted of roasted pork chops (with soy sauce, Worchestershire sauce, sesame oil, brown sugar, garlic, onions, and black pepper), stir-fried mixed vegetables (cabbage, carrots, Shitake mushrooms, and snow peas), stir-fried shrimp (with Hoisin sauce, soy sauce, and onions), and steamed rice. Dessert consisted of mixed fruits (grapes, oranges, and peaches) and a special chocolate cake brought by the Martinez family in celebration of Greg’s 44th birthday.
After lunch, Michael and Lydia played some more while the adults conversed about a variety of subjects. By 2:30 PM, three hours after they had arrived, the Martinez family said their goodbyes to us since both Michael and Lydia were tired and ready for their afternoon naps.
Photos: Lydia and Chelsya Funny Actions
Chelsya and Lydia are looking up at the ceiling while mimicking what Nella is doing with her hands.
Photo note: One major benefit of having people seated for pictures instead of having them stand is that the sitting position puts people more at ease; as a result, their body language tends to look more natural and relaxed in such photos.
Lydia and Chelsya are trying out a new position -- the squat.
Photos: Lydia and Chelsya
Photos: Lydia and Chelsya Like Sisters
Lydia and Chelsya are holding hands.
Nella Cochran, Chelsya's mother and my photographic assistant for this photo shoot, suggested that the girls hold hands. Nella was critical to the success of these portraits because she helped to position the girls correctly, combed and recombed the girls' hair when their hair was out of place, and did an excellent job of keeping the girls' attention focused during this thirty minute portrait session.
Chelsya and Lydia are all smiles !
Double Play Date Month
Double Play Date Month
Because the Bhagwandins, one of the four families in our China adoption group, is relocating to Austin, Texas in July, the families planned on two play dates this month instead of the usual one knowing that Bryon, Sarah, Sam, and Leila Bhagwandin will soon be leaving the area. We agreed to host the play date at our home again today, but because of some unexpected events that occurred at the last moment, only members of the Cochran family could participate in today’s event.
Lydia was excited about Chelsya’s arrival, and she awoke around 6:00 AM today in preparation for the day’s festivities. Nella and Chelsya arrived at 9:15 AM, and for the next forty-five minutes, Nella, Chelsya, Lydia, and I played in the living room, and Nella and I conversed also during this time. Then we moved to the dining room at 10:00 AM to enjoy the blueberry muffins that SiowFong had made this morning before she departed for work. After the thirty minute snack time period concluded, I shot some individual portraits of Chelsya and then some portraits of Chelsya and Lydia together. It was a fast and fun two hours for everybody. By 11:00 AM, Nella and Chelsya left to pick up Brendan, Chelsya’s older brother, at the conclusion of his half-day of kindergarten.
Photos: Lydia at Freddy
One driver, two steering wheels, and one contented child
Photos: Lydia at Ranch 99
Double Identity
Double Identity
The June 2008 edition of Adoptive Families magazine recently arrived in the mailbox, and this issue’s special report focuses on parenting Asian kids. In that section, I found an article written by Jeff Gammage, the father of two adopted Chinese daughters from China (Jin Yu and Zhao Gu) and the author of the book, China Ghosts: My Daughter’s Journey to America, My Passage to Fatherhood. In his article entitled “Beyond the Lion Dance” that appeared in the magazine, he focuses on the identity issues facing children adopted from China.
“Jin Yu is seven now, and lately she’s been telling me she wants to go and visit her nannies, the women who cared for her at the orphanage in China. . .I wonder if my child is hoping to visit people as much as a time and place, to somehow grab hold of a life that fell away when she was a toddler. If, in wanting to visit her nannies, she is seeking to regain part of what she surrendered in coming to this country. But I can’t give my daughter China. I can only give her Chinatown.
Every Saturday morning, my wife and I take Jin Yu to Lion Dance class, watching as she and the other children practice their steps under the critical eye of their sifu. The troupe’s public performances dictate the schedule of our lives the way those of other families are organized around soccer games. On Tuesday nights, Jin Yu and her four-year old sister, Zhao Gu, attend a Chinese culture class near our home, learning the Mandarin words for vegetables and fruits, dancing with long blue-and-yellow ribbons and helping to make dumplings and wontons.
My daughters are two of the nearly 62,000 Chinese children who have been adopted into new homes in this country during the past 15 years. Almost all are girls, abandoned by Chinese parents barred from having ‘extra’ children and pressure to raise sons. For these kids, a new family comes at high cost: their language, their food, the sights and smells of their homeland, the faces of their countrymen. . .
I worry I’m succeeding only at forging my children’s links to a vanished, historical China. That knowing the starting and ending points of the Great Wall, the home city of the famous Terra Cotta warriors, or the animals of the Chinese Zodiac will do little to help them thrive as Asian girls living in 21st century America.
A Chinese friend who visited from Beijing thinks I’m daft, lugging my girls to New Year’s banquets and dragon-boat races. ‘They are not Chinese. They are American,’ she told me. She meant American in more than address, American in a way that’s obvious to anyone who is not from America. It’s the way they stand, the way they carry themselves, the cut of their hair, the things they find funny or sad. The irony is that, in this country, my daughters are seen as wholly, fully Chinese. Indeed, it is Chinese blood that runs in their veins. . .
I hope someday my daughter will see that her mom and dad made an effort, however flawed and imperfect, to restore part of what was taken from her. I hope, if we do return to China, that some of what Jin Yi learns in this country will help her make sense of that one. That if we can visit the orphanage, she will feel at ease, even if she doesn’t feel at home.
Jin Yu asks me if her nannies loved her, and I tell her I am sure that they did. I ask what she plans to say to them. ‘I’ll say, Ni hao,’ she answers. ‘I still speak a little Chinese.’”
(Source: Jeff Gammage. “Beyond the Lion Dance,” Adoptive Families. May/June 2008. pages 32-33.)
Thursday, May 29, 2008
Photos: Mother's Day
Mother's Day
Mother’s Day
Being a mom is a hard job, especially during the initial years of her child’s life. In celebration of this Mother’s Day, below are some prayers specifically for mothers:
“Lord, it is so hard to balance the needs of my children with the realities of life. Help me to be the best mother I can be, grant me wisdom to make wise choices, and give me peace when I am doing all that I can. Amen”
“Dear God, it’s so easy for me to fall into a frantic routine and neglect my own needs. Show me the activities and friends that You want for me, and open my heart to Your leading as I take care of my family and myself. Amen.”
“Heavenly Father, thank You for the blessing of motherhood. Give me strength and encouragement to face its challenges as I seek to fulfill and enjoy Your ordained plan for our family. Amen.”
“Dear Lord, You have called me to the incredibly important job of being a mom. Help me to experience the satisfaction of resting in Your will. Amen.”
“Father of compassion and comfort, thank You for loving and caring for us! We know that no matter how difficult the journey, You are there to pick us up and point us in the right direction. Wrap us daily in Your arms as we do the same with our children. Amen.”
(James and Shirley Dobson. Night Light for Parents: A Devotional. Multnomah Publishers: 2002. pages 73-77)
Photos: Lydia and Violin
Auntie Jenny Chen, Evelyn's and Samuel's mom, is teaching Lydia how to hold Evelyn's violin.
Both Evelyn (who is nearly 6 years of age) and Samuel (who is almost 4 years of age) play the violin. This is Evelyn's third year and Samuel's first year. The minimum age to begin learning the violin via the Suzuki method is 3 years of age.
Note: Both of these pictures were taken on May 10, 2008 in the upper landing of our home.
Photos: Lydia and Chens
Upper landing
Teaching About Art and Music at Home
Teaching About Art and Music at Home
Although reading, writing, and arithmetic, which are commonly known as the “3 Rs” are foundational and mandatory subjects for all school-aged children, other areas of life, such as art and music, are also important but often neglected.
Bill Bennett, the former Secretary of Education and Chairman of the National Endowment for the Humanities, advises the following in his book, The Educated Child (Free Press: 1999. pages 274-275):
“You need not turn your house into an art gallery or concert hall, but you should encourage your child to take part in some art and music activities. You can help expose him to some fine works. There is a world of masterpieces out there. It’s easy for American youngsters to grow up in ignorance of them since a much larger universe of mediocrity (and worse) competes for their attention. Parents can help young eyes and ears learn to appreciate true artistic achievement.
Don’t be bashful about trying to refine your child’s sensibilities in a low-key way. Try to broaden his horizons. We know families where art and music offer occasions for wonderful time spent together.
Here are some commonsense things to do, even if you have little training in the visual arts and music. . .
Look at different kinds of art.
Bring good art into your home.
Encourage art projects at home.
Find some extracurricular art classes.
Play different kinds of music.
Attend musical events together.
Make a little music as a family.
Sign up for music lessons.”
Photos: Discovery Park 6, Lydia and Dad, Ashwin's Photos
Photos: Discovery Park 5, Lydia's Hands, Ashwin's Photos
Environmental Portraits
Environmental Portraits
“Uncle Ashwin” (as he is known to Lydia; Ashwin Rao, Lydia’s dad’s friend) enjoys taking photos just as much as Lydia’s dad. His favorite interests in photography include photojournalism, fine art, portraits, and nature, and today’s adventure at Discovery Park presented opportunities to make pictures that fell into all of those categories. Ashwin’s pursuit of photography as a serious hobby began in September 2006, and the diversity and quality of his work, which can be seen at www.ashwinlrao.blogspot.com, attest to his technical competence and creativity.
Many of Ashwin’s pictures today focused on outdoor portraits of Lydia, dad, and Lydia with dad as we ambled through the park. Sandy Puc, an accomplished children’s photographer whose home is in Colorado, describes it this way: “There is something about the casual but majestic feel of an outdoor portrait. Because this type of portrait tends to be more relaxed and less posed [compared to a studio portrait], my clients tend to enjoy the session more. They also feel a greater connection to the image because it shows not only the family’s relationship but also a small piece of community that they live in. Most clients love the area that they live in and want to see its natural beauty included in the image.
These images are also excellent for showing size ratio between the subject and the world. . .Often we want the child to look smaller and less dominant, showing the wonder of the big world he lives in. . .
An additional benefit of working on location is that it provides your subject with an exciting experience that is far less frightening than a typical studio atmosphere. . .An outdoor location is familiar to a child. Within minutes, even a very shy child can be motivated to chase a butterfly or search for tiny bugs.
Being outside opens up a world of possibilities to create timeless portraits. By having a child dance in circles, play on swings, or just walk down a path holding a favorite teddy bear you can engage them and make the whole session fund – for the parents, the child, and for you as an artist as well.”
(Source: Sandy Puc. The Sandy Puc’ Guide to Children’s Portrait Photography. Amherst Media: 2008. page 70.)
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
Photos: Discovery Park 4
Photos: Discovery Park 3
Lydia is quickly walking down the path to try to catch up with her dad and uncle Ashwin.
Dad and Lydia are walking on the trail that leads from the parking lot of the visitors center to the beach.
Photographer: Ashwin Rao
Note: All of these pictures were taken on May 8, 2008 during our photo stroll with Ashwin Rao at Discovery Park in Seattle, WA.
Photos: Discovery Park 2
A goldfish-eating Lydia is a happy Lydia.
Lydia is strolling in a meadow.
Photos: Discovery Park 1
Photo Stroll with Ashwin Rao
Photo Stroll with Ashwin Rao
Lydia and I spent a lovely day with our friend, Ashwin Rao, as Ashwin took us on a photo stroll through Discovery Park. For those who are unfamiliar with Discovery Park, “this 550 acre retreat offers plenty of opportunity to get away and take in the natural world – more than 230 species of birds have been spotted at the park’s meadows, forests, and beaches. Discovery Park also provides a window over Puget Sound since most of it is perched atop Magnolia Bluff. Here you can watch ferries and ships cruise past, and on a clear day the view of the Olympic Mountains is superb. The park offers 11.8 miles of trails for hiking and two miles of protected tidal beaches for tide pool exploring.” (Source: “Best of the Northwest,” Seattle Post-Intelligencer, May 16, 2007. page 20.)
We met Ashwin in the parking lot at the park’s visitor center at 9:30 AM, and for the next four hours, we hiked through the forest and to the beach and back (a 3 mile round trip). Wearing the white leather tennis shoes, a gift from the Poons, Lydia successfully walked from the parking lot to the beach, completing a one and a half mile journey. During this trek, Lydia walked independently and walked while holding my hand and / or Ashwin’s hand. Both Ashwin and I were surprised by Lydia’s stamina.
Today’s outdoor experience was a wonderful one for Lydia. First, she enjoyed seeing the diversity of flora at the park. Second, Ashwin, whom we refer to as “uncle Ashwin”, has a way of making Lydia smile and laugh. Third, Lydia was excited to see her first beach since her trip to the Big Island of Hawaii, and this one had features that she had not encountered in Hawaii, namely brown colored sand, large driftwood logs, and a lighthouse. Fourth, Lydia made her first photographs on this journey. After I set up a tripod-mounted digital SLR camera on the beach that was connected to a Pocket Wizard Plus II wireless radio remote, Lydia found the remote and pressed the test button on the device, thus triggering the camera to take a picture. When she saw the image of the lighthouse appear on the camera’s LCD screen, she squealed with delight and repeated this process about thirty more times.
On our return trip back to our cars, Lydia fell asleep; as a result, Ashwin and I took turns to carry her while we were walking. Ashwin had the toughest duty as he carried her while ascending 100 consecutive steps on this one part of the main trail. After we completed our journey to the parking lot by foot, Lydia awoke from her slumber. All three of us had experienced an invigorating, interesting four hours in the park.
We then drove to T & T for a scrumptious lunch consisting of Chinese food at 2:30 PM. Because of the energy that she had expended in her morning and early afternoon activities, Lydia ate well. When we said our goodbyes to Ashwin an hour later, Lydia was tired again, and she slept for three and a half hours after we returned home.