October 26, 2007
Margin, Part 2
Today, a Friday, is one of those days that contributes to margin in my life. After some time at home this morning, Lydia and I went on various errands, including a stop at a local Borders bookshop. Before noon, we completed our grocery shopping for the weekend as we visited Ranch 99 and Costco to prepare for guests who are coming to our home for lunch tomorrow. After lunch at home, I read to Lydia and played with her before her 2 and a half hour long nap in the mid-afternoon, during which I also slept for thirty minutes. By the time SiowFong returned home shortly before 6:00 PM, dinner was ready.
Years ago, I remember someone uttering this sentence that I have not forgotten: “Making a living is not the same thing as making a life.”
With that in mind, below is the second part of a book review of Margin from Louis Whitworth:
“Building Margin into our Lives
Of all the areas in which we need margin, having adequate emotional energy is the most important because with emotional margin one can work to gain the other margins.
The amount of emotional energy we have is finite and must not be squandered. Though it is difficult to measure and quantify we must not be embarrassed to admit to ourselves or to others when our emotional reservoir is low. Then we need to replenish our emotional reserves for the good of others and ourselves.
Restoring emotional margin is aided by cultivating our social and family support network. Serving others or doing volunteer work is proven to enhance and lengthen life. Extending forgiveness and reconciling relationships can stop the negative drain on our emotional stores. Cultivating a spirit of gratitude, a hopeful outlook, and love for God and our fellow human beings is energizing, whereas their opposites are negative and debilitating. Finally, establishing appropriate limits and boundaries will help in maintaining emotional reserves.
Dr. Swenson's recommendations for gaining a margin in physical energy are fairly routine to the knowledgeable reader, but he puts particular stress on the need for the need for rest and sleep.
The need for correction is clear since America has now become a 24-hour society: many of our cities never sleep and many businesses never close. People of all types, college students, policemen, nurses, taxi drivers, shift workers, and mothers of young children, may go long periods without a good night's sleep. Such people push (or are pushed) to their limits during the day and push on into or through the night. Sleep disorders plague more than 50 million of us; in fact, sleep deprivation "has become one of the most pervasive problems facing the U.S." Unfortunately the ability to go without sleep is sometimes a matter of pride for some, but sleep and rest are God's ideas, and we should not be ashamed of our need for both.
The author gives several helpful suggestions on making sleep more natural and effective.
Dr. Swenson strongly stresses the need for all types of physical exercise, but says that aerobic exercise for the heart "will do more to establish margin in physical energy" than anything else. He endorses exercise not only for its physical benefits but also for its emotional and mental benefits.
When the subject turns to time the author writes, "The spontaneous flow of progress is to consume more of our time, not less . . . to consume more of our margin, not less." He adds that for "every hour progress saves by organizing and technologizing our time, it consumes two more hours through the consequences, direct or indirect, of this activity."
Clearly time becomes a problem for a society like ours. Some the author's suggestions for countering the time crunch are countercultural and tough to implement, but then continuing on in the same direction most of us are going is difficult as well. He suggests practicing saying "No," turning off the television, practicing simplicity, and getting less done but doing the right things. Many of us need to make some thoughtful and hard choices.
The author's suggestions for gaining a margin in time are preceded with a reminder that of the ten top stressors of family life, four have to do with insufficient time: insufficient couple time, "me" time, family play time, and overscheduled family calendars.
Why do we need to prune our time wasters? Because time is for people and relationships, subjects very dear to God.
A Plan of Action
There are many ways we can spend our time. We could follow the "Excellence" gurus and pour all our energy into one part of our lives. We would probably have no extra margin since other parts of our lives had been sacrificed and in a condition of "negative excellence."
At some point, all things being equal, we would become quite accomplished in a given area. The end result, however, might be similar to having one magnificiently developed right arm attached to puny, stooped shoulders, a scrawny left arm, and skinny, weak legs. This is like the person who is a powerhouse in his professional life and a dwarf in his relationships.
Dr. Richard Swenson suggests a different way in his book Margin. He suggests an approach to life that neglects no important area. He suggests being willing to sacrifice excellence in one or two areas in order that no area be in a condition of negative excellence. This would be similar to the athlete who is toned and conditioned all over, but not overly developed in any one area.
A similar balance in our lives will increase our emotional margin because we and and our families will be happier.
Simplicity has much to offer harried twentieth-century man. But it isn't easy. It takes effort to discard the superfluous and concentrate on the core elements of life. There has always been an attraction to simplicity; the difficulty has been in achieving it. The simple life the author calls us to is not so much to escape modern life as to transcend it.
Envy is the enemy of contentment and form of self-inflicted torture. Yet because envy is the chief ingredient of advertising and the mainspring of political and social movements, it is difficult for many to see its destructiveness. We need to follow Paul who learned contentment in whatever circumstance he found himself (Phil. 4:11-12; 1 Tim. 6:6-10). The practice of contentment brings margin into our lives.
The pain that progress has brought us is mostly in the area of our emotions, our relationships, and our spiritual natures. What are some additional steps start dealing with the pain and achieving some margin?
First, thank God for the pain. The pain pointed out that something is wrong.
Second, repent in a way that leads to permanent, tangible change.
Third, prune activities and habits that waste time, sap energy, and stifle relationships.
Fourth, cooperate with God. Bathe plans in prayer and leave wiggle room for yourself, your family, and people God may send your way.
Fifth, live one day a time. Make plans, but don't worry about the future or be excessively caught up in it (Matt. 6:25-34). Swenson says we need to keep in mind what he calls God's report card.
The only category on it will be "Relationships" and under it will be three questions:
How did we relate to God?
How did we relate to ourselves?
How did we relate to others?
The road to health and blessing in the path of relationship. Love and relationships are hard work, and sometimes costly because superfluous, unimportant things may need to be put aside, but the payoff is happiness, contentment, peace, and margin. I hope some of the things we have shared in this essay turn you from the path of overload and start you down the path of margin.”
(Source: Louis Whitworth. “Margin: Space Between Ourselves and Our Limits”. Probe. 1995)
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