January 30, 2008
Wireless Remote Camera Triggers
A wireless remote camera trigger is simply a device to make the camera take a picture when someone is not physically pressing the shutter button on the camera. This camera accessory is vital to making successfully family portraits because “a group portrait is only as good as each of the individuals in the portrait. You should be able to look at each person in the portrait and ask, ‘Could each of these individual portraits stand alone?’ ‘If the answer is ‘Yes’, then the photographer has done a good job.” (Bill Hurter. Group Portrait Photography. Amherst Media: 2003. page 6.) As a result, getting a good family portrait, especially one that features many people, necessitates taking a series of pictures.
Although nearly all cameras produced today provide a built-in, self-timer option that achieves the same result as a wireless remote camera trigger, the key limitation of the self-timer is that one must reset the self-timer after each shot. A wireless remote camera trigger, however, does not have such a restriction so that one can easily take a sequence of shots.
Wireless remotes come in two forms depending on the triggering system. The more common system is one that is based on an infrared signal that is similar to those found on remote controls for televisions and DVD players. The main advantage of this system is low cost ($ 25 or less). The main disadvantage is limited range (usually 16 feet or less). Another potential drawback is that the infrared remote must be directly aimed at the camera in order to trigger the camera. For family pictures involving young children, the mere act of aiming the wireless infrared remote at the camera can easily disrupt the children’s attention span. Instead of looking at the camera, the children are preoccupied with the wireless infrared remote.
The less common system is one that is based on a radio signal that resembles those found on remote controls for garage door openers. The main advantage of this system is range (200 feet or more). The downside is high cost ($ 350 or more). For family pictures involving young children, this radio signal system is better than the infrared signal system because a parent can operate it covertly and thus minimize any distractions for their children. For our recent family pictures where we were surrounded by snow in front of our home, we used two Pocket Wizard Plus II Transceivers, which use radio signals. Although these are not cheap, they are widely considered to be the gold standard for radio remotes because of their reliability. One Pocket Wizard was connected to the camera via a remote triggering cable, and the other one was in my right hand. In a span of two to three minutes, we were able to take about two dozen family pictures, two of which made SiowFong’s final cut for Lydia’s blog.
Saturday, February 2, 2008
Photos: Snow Family
DSC_0023Mom, Lydia, and dad
Photographer: Remote-controlled camera on a tripod
DSC_0042
Mom, Lydia, and dad
Photographer: Remote-controlled camera on a tripod
DSC_0217Lydia, a tripod (lowly but essential for "do it yourself" family photos), and dad
Photographer: SiowFong
Note: All of these pictures were taken on January 28, 2008 in front of our home.
Evening with the Markwarts and Cranes
January 30, 2008
Evening with the Markwarts and Cranes
We had a delightful time tonight with the Markwarts (Wally and Helen) and the Cranes (Al and Florence), our octogenarian friends from church whom we have known for years, when we invited them for a simple dinner consisting of Brunswick stew (chicken stew), steamed rice, grapes, apple pie, and ice cream.
Since Lydia sees Wally, Helen, Al, and Florence every week at church, she was immediately comfortable in their presence. Her relaxed body language, laughs, smiles, and willingness to approach each one of them demonstrated that she was very familiar with them. Lydia particularly enjoyed her time with Helen, who sat next to Lydia on the red sofa and patiently read a number of books to her after supper.
Evening with the Markwarts and Cranes
We had a delightful time tonight with the Markwarts (Wally and Helen) and the Cranes (Al and Florence), our octogenarian friends from church whom we have known for years, when we invited them for a simple dinner consisting of Brunswick stew (chicken stew), steamed rice, grapes, apple pie, and ice cream.
Since Lydia sees Wally, Helen, Al, and Florence every week at church, she was immediately comfortable in their presence. Her relaxed body language, laughs, smiles, and willingness to approach each one of them demonstrated that she was very familiar with them. Lydia particularly enjoyed her time with Helen, who sat next to Lydia on the red sofa and patiently read a number of books to her after supper.
Photos: Snow, Close Ups
DSC_0009Lydia has three pink ski caps, but this one, a Christmas gift from Phil and Alison Wallace, is her favorite because it does not have any straps. The simple design of Lydia's hat closely resembles a purple and gray knit cap that her dad wears. Another benefit that Lydia likes about this knit cap is that she can put it on and take it off without any help from her parents.
DSC_0015SiowFong thinks that I should consider taking Lydia to a place that offers ski lessons for preschool children because of how much Lydia enjoyed her experience in the snow this morning.
DSC_0019Lydia is smiling as she is strolling in the snow.
Photo notes: To render the background out of focus while keeping Lydia sharply in focus, I used a telephoto zoom lens (70 mm to 200 mm) and set the aperture (the opening of the lens) at 2.8 (its maximum) or 4.0 (near its maximum).
Note: These pictures were taken on January 28, 2008 in front of our home with the assistance of a tripod.
Phobias: Former and Current
January 29, 2008
Phobias: Former and Current
Lydia’s fears have gradually changed over time. Just as Lydia no longer fears snow, she also no longer harbors undue apprehension about hair dryers and vacuum cleaners. On the other hand, she is more uneasy now if she cannot see SiowFong or me.
With respect to hair dryers, SiowFong employed a creative solution months ago to quell Lydia’s fears. After dressing Lydia following her daily bath, SiowFong asked Lydia to bring Lydia’s beloved little Tigger stuffed animal to the bathroom so that SiowFong could blow dry Tigger’s hair. After first directing the hot air of the hair dryer to Tigger for five to ten seconds, SiowFong then redirect it to Lydia’s hair for fifteen to twenty seconds before repeating this cycle of events. Within a few minutes, both Tigger’s hair and Lydia’s hair were dried.
With respect to vacuum cleaners, Lydia’s fears about those machines diminished after she began mimicking SiowFong when SiowFong was using the electric broom to vacuum the wood floors of the dining room, kitchen, and upper landing area of our home. While her mom was pulling and pushing the electric broom, Lydia would follow her mother’s actions by pulling and pushing her wooden frog toy that has a long handle and two wheels.
Lydia’s fears of separation, on the other hand, seem to have intensified over the last few months. For example, SiowFong reported that Lydia awoke from her sleep the other night around 2:30, stood up in her playpen beside our bed, and called out “mama”. When SiowFong reassured Lydia of her presence, Lydia immediately laid down and fell asleep. In another more common example, both SiowFong and I have observed that Lydia does not like to be left alone in the car – even for less than one minute – while we enter the house to open the garage door.
Phobias: Former and Current
Lydia’s fears have gradually changed over time. Just as Lydia no longer fears snow, she also no longer harbors undue apprehension about hair dryers and vacuum cleaners. On the other hand, she is more uneasy now if she cannot see SiowFong or me.
With respect to hair dryers, SiowFong employed a creative solution months ago to quell Lydia’s fears. After dressing Lydia following her daily bath, SiowFong asked Lydia to bring Lydia’s beloved little Tigger stuffed animal to the bathroom so that SiowFong could blow dry Tigger’s hair. After first directing the hot air of the hair dryer to Tigger for five to ten seconds, SiowFong then redirect it to Lydia’s hair for fifteen to twenty seconds before repeating this cycle of events. Within a few minutes, both Tigger’s hair and Lydia’s hair were dried.
With respect to vacuum cleaners, Lydia’s fears about those machines diminished after she began mimicking SiowFong when SiowFong was using the electric broom to vacuum the wood floors of the dining room, kitchen, and upper landing area of our home. While her mom was pulling and pushing the electric broom, Lydia would follow her mother’s actions by pulling and pushing her wooden frog toy that has a long handle and two wheels.
Lydia’s fears of separation, on the other hand, seem to have intensified over the last few months. For example, SiowFong reported that Lydia awoke from her sleep the other night around 2:30, stood up in her playpen beside our bed, and called out “mama”. When SiowFong reassured Lydia of her presence, Lydia immediately laid down and fell asleep. In another more common example, both SiowFong and I have observed that Lydia does not like to be left alone in the car – even for less than one minute – while we enter the house to open the garage door.
Photos: Snow and Fun
DSC_0142One nice feature of the orange and red polarfleece snowsuit is that the child's hands and feets are completely enclosed and protected from the elements. Lydia is also wearing her yellow galoshes, the tops of which are barely visible in the picture due to the snow on the ground.
DSC_0178Lydia is partially doing the splits.
DSC_0214Look how excited Lydia is about playing in the snow.
Note: SiowFong took these pictures on January 28, 2008 in the street that is in front of our home.
The Lowly, but Essential Tripod
January 28, 2008
The Lowly, but Essential Tripod
Taking a family portrait that includes every member of the immediate family without asking someone else to do it requires using a tripod, a camera accessory that most people neither purchase nor use. Our best family portraits always result from using a tripod.
Why is a tripod important for family portraits? “Tripods slow down the whole picture taking process; they force you to think more about each shot, spend more time perfecting the composition and this results in better pictures.” (Lee Frost. Teach Yourself Photography. Teach Yourself Books: 2000. Page 71.) “If possible, always shoot with a tripod. Shutter speeds will generally be on the slow side, especially when shooting in shade. Also, a tripod helps you compose more carefully.” (Bill Hurter. Group Portrait Photography Handbook. Amherst Media: 2003. page 94.)
Fortunately tripods that include both the legs and the head fortunately are within most people’s budgets with lightweight starter kits ranging in price from $ 25 to $ 115 (a good one will cost at least $ 60 to $ 75), depending on factors like stability, ease of use, features, and durability. (Bogen (Manfrotto) makes excellent models, and Slik and Velbon offer some other decent options at a lower cost.)
The Lowly, but Essential Tripod
Taking a family portrait that includes every member of the immediate family without asking someone else to do it requires using a tripod, a camera accessory that most people neither purchase nor use. Our best family portraits always result from using a tripod.
Why is a tripod important for family portraits? “Tripods slow down the whole picture taking process; they force you to think more about each shot, spend more time perfecting the composition and this results in better pictures.” (Lee Frost. Teach Yourself Photography. Teach Yourself Books: 2000. Page 71.) “If possible, always shoot with a tripod. Shutter speeds will generally be on the slow side, especially when shooting in shade. Also, a tripod helps you compose more carefully.” (Bill Hurter. Group Portrait Photography Handbook. Amherst Media: 2003. page 94.)
Fortunately tripods that include both the legs and the head fortunately are within most people’s budgets with lightweight starter kits ranging in price from $ 25 to $ 115 (a good one will cost at least $ 60 to $ 75), depending on factors like stability, ease of use, features, and durability. (Bogen (Manfrotto) makes excellent models, and Slik and Velbon offer some other decent options at a lower cost.)
Photos: Birthday, KFC 2
DSC_0066Lydia has finished her drumstick.
DSC_0081Attired in her birthday hat, Lydia is enjoying her corn on the cob (just like her mommy).
DSC_0085Does the word "determined" come to mind with this picture?
Note: SiowFong took all of these pictures on January 8, 2008 in the dining room of our home.
Winter Wonderland
January 28, 2008
Winter Wonderland
At 6:00 AM, SiowFong awoke, looked at our driveway and street through the living room window, and informed me that snow had only covered our area overnight but was still falling. Once the first light of morning arrived, we could clearly see the white-encrusted trees and the three inch blanket of snow on the ground.
After Lydia arose, had her morning ablutions, and drank her eight ounces of whole milk, we dressed her in her polarfleece snowsuit, a gift from Dace Kratz dating back to January 2007 that was seeing its first use. In addition, SiowFong put Lydia’s legs into her galoshes, so that we could take her outside to play in the snow at 8:30 AM.
SiowFong wondered how Lydia would react to the snow since Lydia was somewhat apprehensive of the snow a year ago. SiowFong’s fears, however, quickly disappeared as Lydia eagerly walked around in the snow with a bright smile on her face during the half hour that she was outside.
Winter Wonderland
At 6:00 AM, SiowFong awoke, looked at our driveway and street through the living room window, and informed me that snow had only covered our area overnight but was still falling. Once the first light of morning arrived, we could clearly see the white-encrusted trees and the three inch blanket of snow on the ground.
After Lydia arose, had her morning ablutions, and drank her eight ounces of whole milk, we dressed her in her polarfleece snowsuit, a gift from Dace Kratz dating back to January 2007 that was seeing its first use. In addition, SiowFong put Lydia’s legs into her galoshes, so that we could take her outside to play in the snow at 8:30 AM.
SiowFong wondered how Lydia would react to the snow since Lydia was somewhat apprehensive of the snow a year ago. SiowFong’s fears, however, quickly disappeared as Lydia eagerly walked around in the snow with a bright smile on her face during the half hour that she was outside.
Sunday, January 27, 2008
Photos: Birthday, KFC 1
DSC_0028Lydia is inspecting the bucket that contains the main entree for her special birthday dinner.
DSC_0031Lydia is holding her favorite part of the fried chicken, the drumsticks !
DSC_0045Lydia is taking her first bite of the chicken drumstick.
She later finished one drumstick, some corn, and a good portion of baked beans.
Note: SiowFong took this series of images on January 8, 2008 in the dining room of our home.
Drumstick Girl
January 27, 2008
Drumstick Girl
SiowFong and I first realized that Lydia liked holding and eating a chicken drumstick on Sunday, December 23, 2007 when the First Chinese Church of Virginia Beach held its annual Christmas lunch following the end of the service. Fried chicken comprised part of the lunch, and when SiowFong gave Lydia her first chance to hold and to eat a whole chicken drumstick (instead of just dining on the pieces of deboned meat from a chicken drumstick), Lydia made the most of her opportunity.
About a week later, when we met with the McKenney family for lunch at the Fire Mountain restaurant in Suffolk, Virginia, SiowFong tried it again with fried chicken, and Lydia demonstrated that she liked eating chicken drumsticks by consuming two of them. Earlier this month, Lydia was smiling again when her mom gave her a Kentucky Fried chicken drumstick as part of her birthday dinner at home. Today was yet another chicken drumstick eating opportunity for Lydia as she finished one from the steamed, salted chicken that we purchased from Ranch 99. Now that we know that Lydia loves to eat chicken drumsticks, we set those aside for her whenever they are available.
Drumstick Girl
SiowFong and I first realized that Lydia liked holding and eating a chicken drumstick on Sunday, December 23, 2007 when the First Chinese Church of Virginia Beach held its annual Christmas lunch following the end of the service. Fried chicken comprised part of the lunch, and when SiowFong gave Lydia her first chance to hold and to eat a whole chicken drumstick (instead of just dining on the pieces of deboned meat from a chicken drumstick), Lydia made the most of her opportunity.
About a week later, when we met with the McKenney family for lunch at the Fire Mountain restaurant in Suffolk, Virginia, SiowFong tried it again with fried chicken, and Lydia demonstrated that she liked eating chicken drumsticks by consuming two of them. Earlier this month, Lydia was smiling again when her mom gave her a Kentucky Fried chicken drumstick as part of her birthday dinner at home. Today was yet another chicken drumstick eating opportunity for Lydia as she finished one from the steamed, salted chicken that we purchased from Ranch 99. Now that we know that Lydia loves to eat chicken drumsticks, we set those aside for her whenever they are available.
Photos: Lydia and Taylor
DSC_0021Taylor Rothaus is carrying Lydia.
DSC_0036Acting like a horse, Taylor is preparing to give Lydia a ride on her back.
DSC_0037Lydia is trying to climb onto Taylor's back.
Note: The Fireside Room is mainly used each week as a place for the seniors to meet for their Sunday school class. As a room that is about 30 feet in length and width with about 8 large round tables, the place was perfect for the New Hope, Group 07-05 luncheon.
Note: SiowFong took all of these pictures on January 26, 2008 in the Fireside Room at Shoreline Community Church in Shoreline, WA.
Intercessory Prayer
January 27, 2008
Intercessory Prayer
In church today, SiowFong and Lydia spent some time in the Cry Room since Lydia was beginning to talk a little too loudly in the sanctuary. The only other person in the Cry Room was an elderly lady. At the end of the service, the guest speaker asked people who wanted prayer to stand, and the elderly lady in the Cry Room stood. SiowFong and Lydia then held hands with the elderly lady as SiowFong prayed for the lady’s needs.
This was Lydia’s first prayer with a stranger at church. The type of prayer in which Lydia participated this morning is called intercessory prayer, something that she has been doing for Ayla Bramblett, the child with retinoblastoma for about three weeks already.
The word “intercede” simply means to plead for, to petition for, or to pray for someone. “Jesus set us an example by praying both for his disciples and for his enemies. Paul prayed for his converts (for many of them by name), for the churches he had founded, and also for Christians he had never met. . .We too should include other people in our prayers; it may be the best service we can render them. . .The more specific and concrete we can be in our prayers, the better. To make a note of our prayers also increases our expectation as we look to God for answers. . .
To pray is not only to be truly godly; it is also to be truly human. For here are human beings, made by God like God and for God, spending time in fellowship with God. . .Prayer is always a response to God’s Word. He speaks first (through the Bible); we reply (in prayer). . .We need to remember that God is our Father and we are His children.”
(Source: John Stott. Christian Basics: Beginnings, Beliefs, and Behavior. Baker Books: 1999. pages 128-132.)
Intercessory Prayer
In church today, SiowFong and Lydia spent some time in the Cry Room since Lydia was beginning to talk a little too loudly in the sanctuary. The only other person in the Cry Room was an elderly lady. At the end of the service, the guest speaker asked people who wanted prayer to stand, and the elderly lady in the Cry Room stood. SiowFong and Lydia then held hands with the elderly lady as SiowFong prayed for the lady’s needs.
This was Lydia’s first prayer with a stranger at church. The type of prayer in which Lydia participated this morning is called intercessory prayer, something that she has been doing for Ayla Bramblett, the child with retinoblastoma for about three weeks already.
The word “intercede” simply means to plead for, to petition for, or to pray for someone. “Jesus set us an example by praying both for his disciples and for his enemies. Paul prayed for his converts (for many of them by name), for the churches he had founded, and also for Christians he had never met. . .We too should include other people in our prayers; it may be the best service we can render them. . .The more specific and concrete we can be in our prayers, the better. To make a note of our prayers also increases our expectation as we look to God for answers. . .
To pray is not only to be truly godly; it is also to be truly human. For here are human beings, made by God like God and for God, spending time in fellowship with God. . .Prayer is always a response to God’s Word. He speaks first (through the Bible); we reply (in prayer). . .We need to remember that God is our Father and we are His children.”
(Source: John Stott. Christian Basics: Beginnings, Beliefs, and Behavior. Baker Books: 1999. pages 128-132.)
Photos: Group 7, Activities 2
DSC_0016(left to right): Mina Rothaus, Colton Rothaus, Lydia, Taylor Rothaus, and Brendan Cochran
The children enjoyed congregating around the fireplace. Even though this room did not have any toys, the kids found multiple ways to amuse themselves during the three hours that we were together.
DSC_0033Bryon Bhagwandin is taking a picture with his cell phone while the mothers are talking and kids are playing. All four families have treasured our quarterly gatherings since we returned from China last year.
DSC_0038(left to right): Sam Bhagwandin, Taylor Rothaus, Lydia, Chelsya Cochran, Nella Cochran
Note: Although SiowFong and I like to invite people to our home for meals, we knew that our small house could not accommodate sixteen people, so we rented this family-friendly room at our church for this gathering.
Note: SiowFong took the first of these three pictures (and I did the other two) on January 26, 2008 in the Fireside Room at Shoreline Community Church in Shoreline, WA.
A Budget Kit for Family Portraits
January 27, 2008
A Budget Kit for Family Portraits
Earlier this week, during Lydia’s first dental appointment with Dr. Jane Kim, Dr. Kim commented how much she liked two of our 2007 pictures, namely our fall foliage outdoor family portrait that was taken in October 2007 and Lydia’s indoor portrait with her hair in ponytails that was done in November 2007. One attractive aspect of our outdoor picture to Dr. Kim was the distinct separation between our family (in the foreground) and trees with their colorful leaves (in the background). Then Dr. Kim explained that she would like to make a similar family portrait with her husband and two sons, so she asked about the necessary camera equipment (a list that I mailed to her later during the week).
For those of you who also want to take good candid family portraits and who are budget conscious, here is a current recommended camera equipment list:
Nikon D40 digital SLR camera body (6 megapixel camera; like new condition) ($ 400)
Nikon 50 mm f/1.8 lens (new condition) ($ 115)
Nikon SB-600 flash (new condition) ($ 185)
Nikon ML-L3 wireless remote release (new condition) ($ 18)
These prices originate from Keh Camera (phone number: 404-892-5522; www.keh.com), a very reputable dealer that is based in Atlanta, Georgia. The total cost (before shipping and handling) is $ 718. The only necessary other item that is not listed is a tripod and a tripod head, which can cost as little as $ 20 at Wal*Mart.
The rationale behind the recommendations is as follows. First, a lens like the 50 mm f/1.8 lens has a large aperture (lens opening). At wide apertures like 1.8, 2.0, 2.8, and 4.0, such lenses dramatically reduce the zone of sharp focus in the picture so that while the subject is clearly focused and defined, the subject’s background is thrown out of focus. Second, the SB-600 flash is helpful for outdoor portraits and indoor portraits. With respect to outdoor portraits, the flash’s power level can be adjusted downward by about 1.7 (-1 and 2/3 on the flash unit), so that it provides a touch of direct fill light to brighten up the shadows on a person’s face. For indoor portraits, the flash can be tilted and / or swiveled so that the light can be bounced off the ceiling so that it is not directly illuminating the subject. Bounced flash spreads the light to soften the shadows and eliminates red eye. On the other hand, direct flash indoors concentrates the light and is usually overpowering, producing harsh lighting and redeye.
A Budget Kit for Family Portraits
Earlier this week, during Lydia’s first dental appointment with Dr. Jane Kim, Dr. Kim commented how much she liked two of our 2007 pictures, namely our fall foliage outdoor family portrait that was taken in October 2007 and Lydia’s indoor portrait with her hair in ponytails that was done in November 2007. One attractive aspect of our outdoor picture to Dr. Kim was the distinct separation between our family (in the foreground) and trees with their colorful leaves (in the background). Then Dr. Kim explained that she would like to make a similar family portrait with her husband and two sons, so she asked about the necessary camera equipment (a list that I mailed to her later during the week).
For those of you who also want to take good candid family portraits and who are budget conscious, here is a current recommended camera equipment list:
Nikon D40 digital SLR camera body (6 megapixel camera; like new condition) ($ 400)
Nikon 50 mm f/1.8 lens (new condition) ($ 115)
Nikon SB-600 flash (new condition) ($ 185)
Nikon ML-L3 wireless remote release (new condition) ($ 18)
These prices originate from Keh Camera (phone number: 404-892-5522; www.keh.com), a very reputable dealer that is based in Atlanta, Georgia. The total cost (before shipping and handling) is $ 718. The only necessary other item that is not listed is a tripod and a tripod head, which can cost as little as $ 20 at Wal*Mart.
The rationale behind the recommendations is as follows. First, a lens like the 50 mm f/1.8 lens has a large aperture (lens opening). At wide apertures like 1.8, 2.0, 2.8, and 4.0, such lenses dramatically reduce the zone of sharp focus in the picture so that while the subject is clearly focused and defined, the subject’s background is thrown out of focus. Second, the SB-600 flash is helpful for outdoor portraits and indoor portraits. With respect to outdoor portraits, the flash’s power level can be adjusted downward by about 1.7 (-1 and 2/3 on the flash unit), so that it provides a touch of direct fill light to brighten up the shadows on a person’s face. For indoor portraits, the flash can be tilted and / or swiveled so that the light can be bounced off the ceiling so that it is not directly illuminating the subject. Bounced flash spreads the light to soften the shadows and eliminates red eye. On the other hand, direct flash indoors concentrates the light and is usually overpowering, producing harsh lighting and redeye.
Photos: Group 7, Fathers
DSC_0023Chelsya Cochran is sitting on the lap of her dad, Jerry.
DSC_0057Jerry Cochran, Tom, and Bryon Bhagwandin are sitting and conversing around the fireplace area where the children and mothers are playing.
DSC_0119Lydia is sitting on her dad's lap.
DSC_0125
Mina has clambered upon the shoulders of her father, Doug.
Note: SiowFong took the second, third, and fourth pictures in this series on January 26, 2008 in the Fireside Room at Shoreline Community Church in Shoreline, WA.
DSC_0125Mina has clambered upon the shoulders of her father, Doug.
Note: SiowFong took the second, third, and fourth pictures in this series on January 26, 2008 in the Fireside Room at Shoreline Community Church in Shoreline, WA.
The Jiangxi Girls
January 27, 2008
The Jiangxi Girls
One benefit of meeting with the other three adoptive families of New Hope’s Group 07-05 is that it allows all of us parents to observe how Chelsya, Leila, Lydia and Mina have grown and matured over this past year.
With respect to physical appearance, SiowFong thinks that Leila is the most beautiful of the four because of her stately, sophisticated facial expression. In addition, Leila, the one with the least amount of hair last January, now sports a healthy head of hair. Of the three girls who are two years old, Chelsya, Leila, and Lydia, Lydia is still the smallest of the three at 24.25 pounds while Chelsya and Leila are 27 pounds, but SiowFong notes that Lydia is closing the gap since Lydia used to be four pounds lighter than Chelsya and Leila. Mina, who is almost three years of age, underwent a major transformation in her body as she added four inches to her height last year. Because Mina’s percentage increase in height exceeded her percentage gains in weight over the last twelve months, she is much more slender than she used to be.
Other differences among the four girls have also emerged. The first difference involves language. For instance, Chelsya was more expressive with English than Leila or Lydia when we met as a group three months ago. Lydia now speaks more complex English than Chelsya or Leila since Lydia often speaks in simple sentences, such as “I want this”, whereas Chelsya and Leila are just speaking two-word phrases. The second area of variance encompasses social skills. Because Chelsya stays at home with her mom, Nella, and Leila is also cared for at home by her nanny or her mom, Sarah, both Chelsya and Leila have not had the abundance of encounters with other children that Lydia has experienced (e.g. through day care, play groups, and friends’ visits to our home); as a result, Chelsya and Leila prefer to stay close to their mothers during our gatherings instead of playing with the other children. Chelsya and Leila are often shy and quiet during these events. Lydia, however, eagerly plays with the other kids, and she is not afraid to make some noise occasionally. Yesterday, for example, when Brendan, Colton, and Mina began running around the round tables in the Fireside room, Lydia joined in the fun.
The Jiangxi Girls
One benefit of meeting with the other three adoptive families of New Hope’s Group 07-05 is that it allows all of us parents to observe how Chelsya, Leila, Lydia and Mina have grown and matured over this past year.
With respect to physical appearance, SiowFong thinks that Leila is the most beautiful of the four because of her stately, sophisticated facial expression. In addition, Leila, the one with the least amount of hair last January, now sports a healthy head of hair. Of the three girls who are two years old, Chelsya, Leila, and Lydia, Lydia is still the smallest of the three at 24.25 pounds while Chelsya and Leila are 27 pounds, but SiowFong notes that Lydia is closing the gap since Lydia used to be four pounds lighter than Chelsya and Leila. Mina, who is almost three years of age, underwent a major transformation in her body as she added four inches to her height last year. Because Mina’s percentage increase in height exceeded her percentage gains in weight over the last twelve months, she is much more slender than she used to be.
Other differences among the four girls have also emerged. The first difference involves language. For instance, Chelsya was more expressive with English than Leila or Lydia when we met as a group three months ago. Lydia now speaks more complex English than Chelsya or Leila since Lydia often speaks in simple sentences, such as “I want this”, whereas Chelsya and Leila are just speaking two-word phrases. The second area of variance encompasses social skills. Because Chelsya stays at home with her mom, Nella, and Leila is also cared for at home by her nanny or her mom, Sarah, both Chelsya and Leila have not had the abundance of encounters with other children that Lydia has experienced (e.g. through day care, play groups, and friends’ visits to our home); as a result, Chelsya and Leila prefer to stay close to their mothers during our gatherings instead of playing with the other children. Chelsya and Leila are often shy and quiet during these events. Lydia, however, eagerly plays with the other kids, and she is not afraid to make some noise occasionally. Yesterday, for example, when Brendan, Colton, and Mina began running around the round tables in the Fireside room, Lydia joined in the fun.
Photos: Group 7, Activities
DSC_0040Taylor Rothaus playing with Lydia in the foreground while Chelsya Cochran is staying near her mother in the background.
DSC_0051Chelsya Cochran, Taylor Rothaus, and Lydia
Taylor spent most of her time taking care of the younger children, particularly Chelsya and Lydia.
DSC_0066Lydia is standing near the fireplace while Chelsya is holding her baby doll.
Nella describes Chelsya as a girl's girl because Chelsya loves wearing dresses.
DSC_0095Lydia, Chelsya, and Taylor are playing near the fireplace.
Note: SiowFong took all of these pictures except for the second one on January 26, 2008 in the Fireside Room at Shoreline Community Church in Shoreline, WA.
"Excuse Me"
January 26, 2008
“Excuse Me”
“’My daughter used to be so generous with her playmates – she’d give them anything they wanted. Now all of a sudden, she’s turned selfish.’
It’s a toddler-vs.toddler world out there, and your daughter, like most children in their second year, has suddently realized it. As a baby, ownership didn’t mean much to her, and it was rarely threatened by those around her – consequently, she didn’t feel the need to defend it. Now she has a new sense of self (‘This is me!’) and of ownership (‘These are mine!’) Enter other self-centered toddlers – with their curious little hands – and it’s no wonder she’s taken to protecting her turf and her toys. . .A willingness to share with her playmates – at least part of the time – probably won’t be forthcoming for at least a year.”
(Source: Arlene Eisenberg, Heidi Murkoff, and Sandee Hathaway. What To Expect: The Toddler Years. Workman Publishing: 1996. page 249.)
At today’s potluck lunch, two instances of Lydia’s behavior illustrated this self-centeredness. The initial situation involved a person, and the second concerned an object. First, when Chelsya Cochran approached SiowFong, Lydia firmly and quickly said, “Excuse me!” twice, and then she wedged herself between SiowFong and Chelsya to prevent Chelsya from getting any closer to SiowFong. Second, after everyone had finished eating, Leila Bhagwandin carried Lydia’s booster seat near the fireplace and sat in it. Lydia began to protest. Then after Leila vacated the chair, Mina Rothaus immediately jumped into the chair, and Lydia’s distress escalated. Lydia’s distress abated only after one of the adults removed the chair from the area.
“Excuse Me”
“’My daughter used to be so generous with her playmates – she’d give them anything they wanted. Now all of a sudden, she’s turned selfish.’
It’s a toddler-vs.toddler world out there, and your daughter, like most children in their second year, has suddently realized it. As a baby, ownership didn’t mean much to her, and it was rarely threatened by those around her – consequently, she didn’t feel the need to defend it. Now she has a new sense of self (‘This is me!’) and of ownership (‘These are mine!’) Enter other self-centered toddlers – with their curious little hands – and it’s no wonder she’s taken to protecting her turf and her toys. . .A willingness to share with her playmates – at least part of the time – probably won’t be forthcoming for at least a year.”
(Source: Arlene Eisenberg, Heidi Murkoff, and Sandee Hathaway. What To Expect: The Toddler Years. Workman Publishing: 1996. page 249.)
At today’s potluck lunch, two instances of Lydia’s behavior illustrated this self-centeredness. The initial situation involved a person, and the second concerned an object. First, when Chelsya Cochran approached SiowFong, Lydia firmly and quickly said, “Excuse me!” twice, and then she wedged herself between SiowFong and Chelsya to prevent Chelsya from getting any closer to SiowFong. Second, after everyone had finished eating, Leila Bhagwandin carried Lydia’s booster seat near the fireplace and sat in it. Lydia began to protest. Then after Leila vacated the chair, Mina Rothaus immediately jumped into the chair, and Lydia’s distress escalated. Lydia’s distress abated only after one of the adults removed the chair from the area.
Photos: Group 7, Jiangxi Girls
DSC_0024Lydia
This picture was taken at the Rainforest Cafe on January 5, 2008. SiowFong included it because neither she nor I remember to get a good head-and-shoulders image of Lydia during the Group 7 gathering on January 26, 2008. For both occasions, Lydia was wearing the same outfit.
DSC_0068Leila Bhagwandin (2 years old)
DSC_0070Chelsya Cochran (2 years old)
DSC_0074Mina Rothaus (35 months old)
Note: SiowFong took all of these pictures. The last three were taken on January 26, 2008 in the Fireside Room at Shoreline Community Church in Shoreline, WA.
Jiangxi Gang Get Together
January 26, 2008
Jianxgi Gang Get Together
The four families of New Hope, Group 07-05 met for the first time this year. Over the last two months, SiowFong has coordinated this effort through multiple emails and a few phone calls. Because of the differences in everybody’s schedule, organizing a mutually agreeable date to meet was a challenge.
The fruits of SiowFong’s labor, however, were worth it when we met today at Shoreline Community Church’s Fireside Room, which we had rented, for a potluck lunch. (Our home is just too small to accommodate 16 people for a meal.) We arrived first at 10:30 AM to set up the room, which is used weekly by the seniors for their Sunday school class. Besides stir-fried chicken with broccoli and multicolored peppers (red, orange, and yellow), we brought the plastic cutlery, paper plates, paper bowels, paper towels, and drinks (water and various juices). Jerry, Nella, Brendan, and Chelsya Cochran arrived next at 11:05 AM with two home-cooked dishes, a curried-flavored rice, chicken, and broccoli casserole and a cooked green bean entrée. Ten minutes later, Doug, Brenda, Colton, Taylor, and Mina Rothaus drove into the church’s parking lot, bringing General Tso’s chicken, noodles, and fried chicken. At 11:45 AM, Bryon, Sarah, Sam, and Leila Bhagwandin appeared with a spinach salad and homemade chocolate chip cookies. As each family arrived, another round of hearty greetings, handshakes, and hugs occurred.
Before and during the yummy lunch, the adults conversed a good bit, updating each other about their lives and sharing parenting stories and tips. I spent a lot of time just talking with the other parents and less time on photography. SiowFong admirably did the honors, taking 120 pictures of the event (I got about 80).
Even though this room did not have any toys, the kids played with and around each other. The older children, including Sam, Colton, and Taylor, supervised and helped the younger ones. For example, Taylor was watching and playing with Lydia so much today that I called her “Lydia’s second mother”. The laughter and smiles from the children filled the room with sunshine.
Our three hours together was fun. Everyone once again regretted that our time together was so short. The parents of the other three families thanked SiowFong for her work in organizing this event, which everyone enjoyed immensely. Doug and Brenda Rothaus kindly offered their home for the next gathering, which will occur on a weekend in May prior to Memorial Day. In addition, Nella, Brenda, Sarah, and I will meet once a month on Fridays so that our children can play together, and Sarah invited us to her home for the first play date that will take place in February.
(As Lydia is taking her afternoon nap today, SiowFong is reviewing the pictures and selecting some for web posting. Later, I will copy these images onto photo CDs this weekend to give to the other families.)
Jianxgi Gang Get Together
The four families of New Hope, Group 07-05 met for the first time this year. Over the last two months, SiowFong has coordinated this effort through multiple emails and a few phone calls. Because of the differences in everybody’s schedule, organizing a mutually agreeable date to meet was a challenge.
The fruits of SiowFong’s labor, however, were worth it when we met today at Shoreline Community Church’s Fireside Room, which we had rented, for a potluck lunch. (Our home is just too small to accommodate 16 people for a meal.) We arrived first at 10:30 AM to set up the room, which is used weekly by the seniors for their Sunday school class. Besides stir-fried chicken with broccoli and multicolored peppers (red, orange, and yellow), we brought the plastic cutlery, paper plates, paper bowels, paper towels, and drinks (water and various juices). Jerry, Nella, Brendan, and Chelsya Cochran arrived next at 11:05 AM with two home-cooked dishes, a curried-flavored rice, chicken, and broccoli casserole and a cooked green bean entrée. Ten minutes later, Doug, Brenda, Colton, Taylor, and Mina Rothaus drove into the church’s parking lot, bringing General Tso’s chicken, noodles, and fried chicken. At 11:45 AM, Bryon, Sarah, Sam, and Leila Bhagwandin appeared with a spinach salad and homemade chocolate chip cookies. As each family arrived, another round of hearty greetings, handshakes, and hugs occurred.
Before and during the yummy lunch, the adults conversed a good bit, updating each other about their lives and sharing parenting stories and tips. I spent a lot of time just talking with the other parents and less time on photography. SiowFong admirably did the honors, taking 120 pictures of the event (I got about 80).
Even though this room did not have any toys, the kids played with and around each other. The older children, including Sam, Colton, and Taylor, supervised and helped the younger ones. For example, Taylor was watching and playing with Lydia so much today that I called her “Lydia’s second mother”. The laughter and smiles from the children filled the room with sunshine.
Our three hours together was fun. Everyone once again regretted that our time together was so short. The parents of the other three families thanked SiowFong for her work in organizing this event, which everyone enjoyed immensely. Doug and Brenda Rothaus kindly offered their home for the next gathering, which will occur on a weekend in May prior to Memorial Day. In addition, Nella, Brenda, Sarah, and I will meet once a month on Fridays so that our children can play together, and Sarah invited us to her home for the first play date that will take place in February.
(As Lydia is taking her afternoon nap today, SiowFong is reviewing the pictures and selecting some for web posting. Later, I will copy these images onto photo CDs this weekend to give to the other families.)
Photos: Grandparents Cranes
DSC00842Honorary grandpa Al and honorary grandma Florence are gazing at Lydia
DSC00847Al and Florence are watching Lydia while SiowFong selected food for Lydia from the buffet.
SiowFong (who is not in the picture) is bringing a plate of food for her and Lydia
Note: Both of these pictures were taken on December 16, 2007 at the Old Country Buffet restaurant in Shoreline, WA.
The Essential Human Element
January 26, 2008
The Essential Human Element
Walk into the toy department of any discount department store like Kmart, Target, and Wal*Mart, and you will find plenty of electronic toys ranging from dolls and stuffed animals that speak certain phrases when a child pushes the right body part to cars that are operated by radio remote controls to the assortment of educational offerings by VTech and LeapFrog.
Lydia has benefited from her exposure to such toys, including LeapFrog’s alphabet “Fridge Phonics” game. SiowFong and I have noticed over this last year that Lydia’s interest in such toys is directly related to how much time we spend with her playing with these toys. If we show an interest, she enjoys the toy more and learns more from it. For instance, with the alphabet “Fridge Phonics” game, Lydia will play with the toy for five to ten minutes at a time, but if SiowFong or I review the letters with her and then ask her to identify them for us, her interest in that game extends to fifteen to twenty minutes, depending on how patient we are with her.
Electronic toys, especially the ones that introduce music to children and promote learning of the basics, are wonderful; however, regardless of the sophistication of these toys, they are no substitute for an attentive parent who regularly interacts with a child.
The Essential Human Element
Walk into the toy department of any discount department store like Kmart, Target, and Wal*Mart, and you will find plenty of electronic toys ranging from dolls and stuffed animals that speak certain phrases when a child pushes the right body part to cars that are operated by radio remote controls to the assortment of educational offerings by VTech and LeapFrog.
Lydia has benefited from her exposure to such toys, including LeapFrog’s alphabet “Fridge Phonics” game. SiowFong and I have noticed over this last year that Lydia’s interest in such toys is directly related to how much time we spend with her playing with these toys. If we show an interest, she enjoys the toy more and learns more from it. For instance, with the alphabet “Fridge Phonics” game, Lydia will play with the toy for five to ten minutes at a time, but if SiowFong or I review the letters with her and then ask her to identify them for us, her interest in that game extends to fifteen to twenty minutes, depending on how patient we are with her.
Electronic toys, especially the ones that introduce music to children and promote learning of the basics, are wonderful; however, regardless of the sophistication of these toys, they are no substitute for an attentive parent who regularly interacts with a child.
Photos: Birthday, Opening Aunty's Gift
DSC_0004Aunty MayLee, SiowFong's sister who lives in Melbourne, Australia, sent Lydia this birthday present, which Lydia is starting to open. Of all the presents that Lydia received, this one had the longest journey as it traveled from one continent to another.
DSC_0012Entitled Shapes and Colours, the book teaches children about those concepts through many colorful pictures of everyday things.
DSC_0015Lydia is looking at the Shapes and Colours book.
DSC_0024Lydia is examining the birthday card that she received from her aunty MayLee.
Note: SiowFong took all of these pictures on January 8, 2008 in the living room of our home.
Alphabet Song
January 26, 2008
Alphabet Song
Lydia’s sponsors, Thom and Kimberly Powell, gave Lydia two Leap Frog educational toys this past Christmas. Both are magnetic products, so they are meant to be placed on the refrigerator. One introduces children to various farm animals, and the other teaches them about the letters of the alphabet.
Although Lydia enjoys playing with both toys, the one dealing with the alphabet is more challenging, so she spends more time trying to figure out that one. With the alphabet toy, when Lydia places a letter into the magnetic slot, a perky recording sounds. The recording clearly states the letter two or three times and then plays a short song using words that begin with that letter. The other option on the toy is a musical note button sings the traditional alphabet song if it is pressed.
Today, after Lydia pushed the musical note button, SiowFong and I noticed that Lydia was singing along with the alphabet song recording. Although Lydia stumbled at times since she knew only some parts of the song, she surprised us by being able to sing it because we have rarely sung it for her.
Alphabet Song
Lydia’s sponsors, Thom and Kimberly Powell, gave Lydia two Leap Frog educational toys this past Christmas. Both are magnetic products, so they are meant to be placed on the refrigerator. One introduces children to various farm animals, and the other teaches them about the letters of the alphabet.
Although Lydia enjoys playing with both toys, the one dealing with the alphabet is more challenging, so she spends more time trying to figure out that one. With the alphabet toy, when Lydia places a letter into the magnetic slot, a perky recording sounds. The recording clearly states the letter two or three times and then plays a short song using words that begin with that letter. The other option on the toy is a musical note button sings the traditional alphabet song if it is pressed.
Today, after Lydia pushed the musical note button, SiowFong and I noticed that Lydia was singing along with the alphabet song recording. Although Lydia stumbled at times since she knew only some parts of the song, she surprised us by being able to sing it because we have rarely sung it for her.
Photos: Birthday, Party is Over
DSC_0255SiowFong is handing out the gift bags to the children, each of which was packed with presents bearing the Winnie the Pooh and Tigger the Tiger themes. Lydia is eagerly examining the contents in her bag.
DSC_0297Lydia is putting on her blue shoes that are called "crocs".
DSC_0300Lydia is walking around with her gift bag. On the left is Kyvin Kaing-Li, who is holding his gift bag in his left hand, and on the right is Vivian Foley, who is rummaging through her gift bag.
DSC_0302Lydia, with her gift bag in her right hand, is ready to go home now.
Note: All of these pictures were taken on January 6, 2008 at The Little Gym in Kenmore, WA.
No Rolled Up Sleeves Please
January 25, 2008
No Rolled Up Sleeves Please
Parenting is certainly an adventure. At times, knowing what to do with one’s child(ren) is straightforward. At other times, however, knowing what to do only results after a bit of trial and error. The latter situation accurately represented some of this morning’s events.
Lydia’s special event of the day was to get her two-year old pictures taken at Yuen Lui, a regional chain of portrait studios. Just about a year ago, she was attired in her red Chinese outfit when she made her first visit to Yuen Lui. Because Ma Wee’s sister in Hong Kong had given her a gold Chinese outfit last June, we decided to have her wear this attire for yesterday’s portrait session. One of the principal differences between the two outfits other than color and pattern was that the gold outfit featured a short-sleeved shirt whereas the red outfit had long shirt sleeves.
Because the recent ambient temperatures have hovered in the high 30s and low 40s, SiowFong dressed Lydia this morning in a long sleeved onesie with her gold Chinese outfit. On top of all of that, Lydia wore her outer coat, a pink polarfleece jacket. After we arrived at the studio, SiowFong successfully rolled up the left long sleeve of Lydia’s onesie, but when SiowFong tried to repeat this action with the right long sleeve of the onesie, Lydia objected by pulling her arm away and by starting to fuss.
Observing Lydia’s behavior, Matisse, the photographer, suggested that Lydia’s portrait session begin just with a series of head and shoulder shots. Lydia was relaxed and did well during this initial phase of picture taking, and a number of her pictures show her with her winsome smile. The rest of Lydia’s experience at Yuen Lui, however, was not nearly as good. Although SiowFong managed to roll up the right long sleeve of Lydia’s onesie after this round of photos, Lydia’s discomfort and displeasure was obvious thereafter because her moodiness appeared and her smile disappeared. Despite employing a variety of techniques to try to gain Lydia’s cooperation, Matisse was not successful in her attempts, and she was only able to take a few decent pictures of Lydia during the remainder of the session.
SiowFong and I learned something today, namely that Lydia does not like rolled up shirt sleeves. As we were heading home, we concurred with Lydia’s January 2009 session at Yuen Lui, we will make sure that Lydia wears a short sleeve shirt beneath her Chinese outfit if that outfit also features short sleeves.
No Rolled Up Sleeves Please
Parenting is certainly an adventure. At times, knowing what to do with one’s child(ren) is straightforward. At other times, however, knowing what to do only results after a bit of trial and error. The latter situation accurately represented some of this morning’s events.
Lydia’s special event of the day was to get her two-year old pictures taken at Yuen Lui, a regional chain of portrait studios. Just about a year ago, she was attired in her red Chinese outfit when she made her first visit to Yuen Lui. Because Ma Wee’s sister in Hong Kong had given her a gold Chinese outfit last June, we decided to have her wear this attire for yesterday’s portrait session. One of the principal differences between the two outfits other than color and pattern was that the gold outfit featured a short-sleeved shirt whereas the red outfit had long shirt sleeves.
Because the recent ambient temperatures have hovered in the high 30s and low 40s, SiowFong dressed Lydia this morning in a long sleeved onesie with her gold Chinese outfit. On top of all of that, Lydia wore her outer coat, a pink polarfleece jacket. After we arrived at the studio, SiowFong successfully rolled up the left long sleeve of Lydia’s onesie, but when SiowFong tried to repeat this action with the right long sleeve of the onesie, Lydia objected by pulling her arm away and by starting to fuss.
Observing Lydia’s behavior, Matisse, the photographer, suggested that Lydia’s portrait session begin just with a series of head and shoulder shots. Lydia was relaxed and did well during this initial phase of picture taking, and a number of her pictures show her with her winsome smile. The rest of Lydia’s experience at Yuen Lui, however, was not nearly as good. Although SiowFong managed to roll up the right long sleeve of Lydia’s onesie after this round of photos, Lydia’s discomfort and displeasure was obvious thereafter because her moodiness appeared and her smile disappeared. Despite employing a variety of techniques to try to gain Lydia’s cooperation, Matisse was not successful in her attempts, and she was only able to take a few decent pictures of Lydia during the remainder of the session.
SiowFong and I learned something today, namely that Lydia does not like rolled up shirt sleeves. As we were heading home, we concurred with Lydia’s January 2009 session at Yuen Lui, we will make sure that Lydia wears a short sleeve shirt beneath her Chinese outfit if that outfit also features short sleeves.
Photos: Birthday, Yummie Cake
DSC_0165Mommy is removing the tiger decoration from Lydia's birthday cupcake.
DSC_0168aLydia is staring at the icing on her cupcake.
DSC_0180Lydia is licking the icing from her left index finger.
Note: These pictures were taken on January 6, 2008 in the lunch room area of The Little Gym in Kenmore, WA.
The Positive Effect of Children on Marital Success
January 24, 2008
The Positive Effect of Children on Marital Success
When SiowFong and I were dating years ago, I read a book called The Triumphant Marriage: 100 Extremely Successful Couples Reveal Their Secrets. Authored by Neil Clark Warren, a clinical psychologist with more than thirty years of experience, former dean of the Fuller Graduate School of Psychology, and the best-selling author of Finding the Love of Your Life, this book summarizes the interviews that Dr. Warren had with 100 extremely happy couples in healthy marriages. To find those individuals, Dr. Warren “wrote to friends and colleagues all over the country and asked them to nominate the healthiest marriage they know”, and from this list of 100 couples, Dr. Warren “asked them everything I could think of about how they have become so successful”. After reviewing all of the information submitted by these couples, Dr. Warren categorized and listed the ten most important ingredients of a healthy and happy marriage.
Number nine on that list was “Get Connected! Recognize the Role of Children and Friends in Making Your Marriage Triumphant”. When I read that chapter years ago, neither SiowFong nor I was yet a parent yet, so half of that chapter did not apply to us. When I reread the chapter recently after being a parent for a year, I discovered that much of what Dr. Warren wrote resonated with me. Below are a few highlights from that chapter that pertain to how children strengthen a marriage.
“After all these years of listening to people talk about their children, I’ve become convinced that most of their passion revolves around the mystery represented by the blending of both spouses’ physical, emotional, and intellectual qualities. . .There’s something mind-boggling about the idea that the love of my life and I can somehow merge our uniqueness. . .in a little person who will live with us and be around us for the rest of our lives. And this little being will be an incredible blend of you and me. We can have a little us. . .
If merging and blending are at the heart of the love experience, then children make love happen between two people at levels that are otherwise impossible. . .The unity and oneness of a couple is never so obvious as when we see our children. Children represent. . .the fusion of our beings. It is this fusion that contributes so significantly to the sacredness of marriage. . .
Of the 100 marriages recommended to me by people around North America, the vast majority cited ‘children’ as vital to the excellence of their marriages. A careful analysis of this dramatic result reveals that parents often experience a deep sense of oneness with each other when they observe their children, and when they end up saying something like ‘We really did a great job together.’ . .
I have seldom seen a triumphant marriage in which children played no role. Morever, I have never seen a great marriage in which there was an antagonistic or distant relationship between parents and their children. When there is love between a husband and wife, and where there is strong respect for the children born out of that love, the result is sure to be a family that can relate to one another in deeply meaningful ways. When this kind of connectedness happens within a secure atmosphere, the many shades of love that result almost always make for an overwhelmingly beautiful human fabric. We call this fabric a family.”
(Source: Neil Clark Warren. The Triumphant Marriage: 100 Extremely Successful Couples Reveal Their Secrets. Focus on the Family Publishing: 1995. pages 138-148.)
The Positive Effect of Children on Marital Success
When SiowFong and I were dating years ago, I read a book called The Triumphant Marriage: 100 Extremely Successful Couples Reveal Their Secrets. Authored by Neil Clark Warren, a clinical psychologist with more than thirty years of experience, former dean of the Fuller Graduate School of Psychology, and the best-selling author of Finding the Love of Your Life, this book summarizes the interviews that Dr. Warren had with 100 extremely happy couples in healthy marriages. To find those individuals, Dr. Warren “wrote to friends and colleagues all over the country and asked them to nominate the healthiest marriage they know”, and from this list of 100 couples, Dr. Warren “asked them everything I could think of about how they have become so successful”. After reviewing all of the information submitted by these couples, Dr. Warren categorized and listed the ten most important ingredients of a healthy and happy marriage.
Number nine on that list was “Get Connected! Recognize the Role of Children and Friends in Making Your Marriage Triumphant”. When I read that chapter years ago, neither SiowFong nor I was yet a parent yet, so half of that chapter did not apply to us. When I reread the chapter recently after being a parent for a year, I discovered that much of what Dr. Warren wrote resonated with me. Below are a few highlights from that chapter that pertain to how children strengthen a marriage.
“After all these years of listening to people talk about their children, I’ve become convinced that most of their passion revolves around the mystery represented by the blending of both spouses’ physical, emotional, and intellectual qualities. . .There’s something mind-boggling about the idea that the love of my life and I can somehow merge our uniqueness. . .in a little person who will live with us and be around us for the rest of our lives. And this little being will be an incredible blend of you and me. We can have a little us. . .
If merging and blending are at the heart of the love experience, then children make love happen between two people at levels that are otherwise impossible. . .The unity and oneness of a couple is never so obvious as when we see our children. Children represent. . .the fusion of our beings. It is this fusion that contributes so significantly to the sacredness of marriage. . .
Of the 100 marriages recommended to me by people around North America, the vast majority cited ‘children’ as vital to the excellence of their marriages. A careful analysis of this dramatic result reveals that parents often experience a deep sense of oneness with each other when they observe their children, and when they end up saying something like ‘We really did a great job together.’ . .
I have seldom seen a triumphant marriage in which children played no role. Morever, I have never seen a great marriage in which there was an antagonistic or distant relationship between parents and their children. When there is love between a husband and wife, and where there is strong respect for the children born out of that love, the result is sure to be a family that can relate to one another in deeply meaningful ways. When this kind of connectedness happens within a secure atmosphere, the many shades of love that result almost always make for an overwhelmingly beautiful human fabric. We call this fabric a family.”
(Source: Neil Clark Warren. The Triumphant Marriage: 100 Extremely Successful Couples Reveal Their Secrets. Focus on the Family Publishing: 1995. pages 138-148.)
Photos: Birthday, Washing Hands
DSC_0163An instructor at the Little Gym giving the children some alcohol-based antibacterial hand gel to use so that the children's hands would be clean for lunch.
DSC_0165Lydia is receiving her anti-bacterial hand gel.
Note: SiowFong took both of these pictures on January 6, 2008 at The Little Gym in Kenmore, WA.
Reach Out and Read
January 23, 2008
Reach Out and Read
A week ago, when Lydia had her two-year old well child check, Dr. Bledsoe gave her a Dr. Seuss book entitled Ten Apples Up on Top! This book is part of a program called “Reach Out and Read” that was initially developed by the Department of Pediatrics at Boston University’s School of Medicine to encourage parents to read to their children so that their children will be prepared for school.
According to the developmental milestones of early literacy in the “Reach Out and Read” literature, at Lydia’s age, with respect to motor skills, she should turn board book pages easily, carry a book around the house, and may use a book as a transitional object. With respect to cognitive skills, she should name familiar pictures, fill in words in familiar stories, and pretend to read to dolls or stuffed animals, recite parts of well-known stories. Fortunately Lydia has demonstrated an ability to do these age-appropriate tasks.
Within this year, Lydia should learn to handle paper pages and go back and forth in books to find favorite pictures. In addition, she ought to be able to recite whole phrases (and sometimes whole stories), coordinate text with picture(s), protest when an adult gets a word wrong in a familiar story, and read familiar books to self.
According to “Reach Out and Read”, SiowFong and I need to relate books to Lydia’s experiences, use books in routines and at bedtimes, ask ‘what’s that?’ and give Lydia time to answer, and pause and let the child complete the sentence. In addition, we need to be willing to read the same story over and over and provide crayons and paper to Lydia.
We are happy that Lydia loves to read. She asks me to read to her nearly every day, and during the days when I am not working, she makes this request several times during the day. From our experience, the most challenging of those duties is reading the same story multiple times to Lydia over a period of weeks to months. Like many other children of her age, Lydia relishes hearing the same familiar story again and again whereas our interest in a particular story diminishes over time, especially with repeated exposure to the same story.
Reach Out and Read
A week ago, when Lydia had her two-year old well child check, Dr. Bledsoe gave her a Dr. Seuss book entitled Ten Apples Up on Top! This book is part of a program called “Reach Out and Read” that was initially developed by the Department of Pediatrics at Boston University’s School of Medicine to encourage parents to read to their children so that their children will be prepared for school.
According to the developmental milestones of early literacy in the “Reach Out and Read” literature, at Lydia’s age, with respect to motor skills, she should turn board book pages easily, carry a book around the house, and may use a book as a transitional object. With respect to cognitive skills, she should name familiar pictures, fill in words in familiar stories, and pretend to read to dolls or stuffed animals, recite parts of well-known stories. Fortunately Lydia has demonstrated an ability to do these age-appropriate tasks.
Within this year, Lydia should learn to handle paper pages and go back and forth in books to find favorite pictures. In addition, she ought to be able to recite whole phrases (and sometimes whole stories), coordinate text with picture(s), protest when an adult gets a word wrong in a familiar story, and read familiar books to self.
According to “Reach Out and Read”, SiowFong and I need to relate books to Lydia’s experiences, use books in routines and at bedtimes, ask ‘what’s that?’ and give Lydia time to answer, and pause and let the child complete the sentence. In addition, we need to be willing to read the same story over and over and provide crayons and paper to Lydia.
We are happy that Lydia loves to read. She asks me to read to her nearly every day, and during the days when I am not working, she makes this request several times during the day. From our experience, the most challenging of those duties is reading the same story multiple times to Lydia over a period of weeks to months. Like many other children of her age, Lydia relishes hearing the same familiar story again and again whereas our interest in a particular story diminishes over time, especially with repeated exposure to the same story.
Photos: Birthday, Opening Gifts 3
DSC_0217Lydia is preparing to open her birthday gifts as she, her mom, and an instructor at the Little Gym sit on the birthday gift opening stairs. Evelyn Chen is bringing a present to Lydia.
DSC_0238Evelyn, Lydia, and Vivian Foley (another gift bearer)
Note: James Chen took all of these pictures on January 6, 2008 at The Little Gym in Kenmore, WA.
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